Escape from the Makeover Horde
The main protagonist is the unsuspecting victim of several of those dreadful makeover reality shows on TV, and the main objective of the game is to get the hell out of there. This is most likely a third-person action platformer, where you have to avoid getting caught by the crazy horde of so-called makeover experts and their assistant and fans. Each level ends with a huge boss fight with bosses such as Dr. Garth Dorfchester III, plastic surgeon extraordinaire, and Cy Fennington, carpenter turned philanthropist. “..and the renovation of your face starts right now!”

Incomprehensible Robot Destruction
The name just says it all, really. Will feature robots. And possibly destruction thereof.

Hardcore Squirrel of the Blood God
Already a legend in the gaming industry for his contributions on such classics as Biblical Mutant Troopers and Big-Time Yak of Fury, game designer Filbert S. Shameneux turned some heads when he decided to open up his own game studio consisting entirely of employees named Steve. Hardcore Squirrel of the Blood God is their first game project.

Skippy the Squirrel used to be an ordinary squirrel living in the peaceful forest of Evergreen. But one day when Skippy was out looking for nuts, like he usually does, he came across a horrible sight. There probably was some ominous chanting by robed individuals involved, and some sort of ritual sacrifice. Either way, Skippy was never the same. The cultists who were responsible for this ritual were trying to summon Rasthor, the God of Tormented Souls without any greater success Skippy, however, experienced a rather different story. The ritual the cultists were trying to perform was missing one vital ingredient; a vessel for the blood god they were trying to summon. As it were, Skippy just happened to be there at the exact moment that Rasthor manifested in this realm of existence, thus becoming that accursed vessel. The cultists, of course, didn’t notice this, expecting the blood god to appear in all his unholy glory. After much anticipation, followed by disappointment, followed by despair, followed by disinterest, they ate up the marshmallows, threw away their robes and went home, back to their ordinary, dreadful lives in suburban hell.

The player plays the part of Horace McFarland Jr., an unsuspecting retired squirrel hunter that gets recruited and sent on a top secret special mission by an underground segment of the National Park Service. His only objective: to hunt down Skippy and his growing number of mutated squirrel-human followers before they destroy the natural habitats and molest campers and hiking enthusiasts in the fragile Evergreen National Park. This is probably a first-person shooter with delusions of storytelling genius, and probably involves a marketing campaign that involves things like “revolutionary AI” and “has way more pixels than that other game that comes out soon” and sports “the tactical shooter experience of the year”, and will probably win every E3 award ever because of the awesome press kit (which includes a live squirrel) that gets handed out to very impressed games journalists from obscure but well-respected websites. Read the rest of this entry »